"Not a Feel Good" feeling

My today's blog is about a very confusing and complicated feeling called "emotional insecurity".As defined by Wikipedia, "Emotional insecurity" is a feeling of general unease or nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving of oneself to be vulnerable in some way, or a sense of vulnerability or instability which threatens one's self-image or ego.

This feeling so common within everyone, yet no one really has the courage to accept this feeling. This is mainly because this feeling is considered a negative feeling. But is this really a negative feeling? Is feeling low about your own self a negative thing?I would like to rather call it as "not a feel good" feeling.

There are many reasons to why one feels that ways; A thought that as a person I lack things or inadequacy, constant comparison with others, feeling of less importance given, this is mine and not yours, frequent criticism and so on. This feeling in majority of the people is not self- grown, rather it is the actions of others for which this is the consequence an individual faces- "left with this feeling".I think it is one of the few feelings, that people tend to carry it throughout their life about themselves and about the person against whom they feel so. This feeling with time just grown in you rather than dying inside you, if not tackled in the early stages.It can break a person and shatter their confidence in themselves for ever.People also then tend to do things on purpose just to get everyone's sympathy or to make them feel good about themselves- this could be very dangerous.

 If you are the one suffering from it, then try to tackle this feeling at the earliest.You can diplomatically trying tell the other person not to say or do things (like criticism) so openly and at every point.If at all there is a comparison or criticism, then step back and come out of such an environment for good. Some times, comparison happens at home between siblings or friends, at that point make sure to tell that you do not appreciate such comparison and stop reacting to it(walking out of such conversations usually helps- No it is not rude, it is just called protecting yourself). Write down all the good things about yourself and that you have heard from others in a book, and read it every morning to realize that how special and a good human being you are. Do not try to copy others- it is not a feel good thing at all. Build on your own strengths. Everyone has a talent, small or big, talent is a talent. Even being a good listener is a talent. Typically, when a partner moves on with some one else this feeling comes too often but remember they loved you before and they loved you for what you were;they found someone, you will also find someone. I personally feel that a new environment and keep yourself busy with other things that you like usually helps to come out of such feelings. So you know what you have to do.

One thing as an individual I personally feel that we shouldn't really do things or say things that will make the other person ever feel this way. If at all we have ended up doing it(either in fun or otherwise), then make sure that we make up for it(if at all you realize it).There is always a difference between healthy and unhealthy comparison/criticism. Make sure when you do it, it better be in a healthy manner or else your words can impact a person in the way they see and feel about themselves.And, if you find someone who is going through such a feeling help them come out of this- show them what they are capable of and help them get back their confidence. Just help someone, and see how good it makes you feel (telling out of personal experience)

Don't let this feeling grow in you. The first step towards coming out of this is to accept this feeling, understand why you feel this way and make a strategy to come out of this. You are here for a reason, no one else can complete the reason other than you. People love you for what you are. Sometimes people get blinded and are not able to see the good qualities in others- forgive them anyways for their immaturity.Be happy with yourself, these people were not with you earlier and wont be with you when you die; Rather just live happy with yourself and be happy with yourself. And remember, people who truly and genuinely love you or respect you wont ever make you feel this way and therefore others who come in this category of people should not even matter. You are very special, and there are people who also believe that your presence is special to them. Cherish them and cherish yourself.